Age old dependencies|
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|Friday, September 4th, 2009|
|Obscure mistress visit
I always feel like livejournal is one of those things that I have to keep secret from everyone because it's not my lover, it's just some girl who claims that she is the one.
I visit LJ occasionally, and enjoy reading the one person who posts posts. But you can't tell anyone about it. Just like you can't tell people "Yeah, every so often I visit Madame Millicente's mansion of mischief." They just wouldn't understand.
So, this new job. I work 2 days, have off 2 days, work 3 days, and reverse. Only working 7 days every two weeks is nice. But 12 hour shifts are booooooooooooooring, because nothing goes on and my coworkers suck at life. I need something to do during this time.
Also, my days off. Instead of being productive, I wasted the past two days playing this stupid video game. The game is super fun. There is no real goal or end game that I can see. I'm leveling up a character and conquering peoples. It's set in false european country A. There are mongols, vikings, french and germans, and the used to be romans. I have conquered castles, and locked up fellow lords in my prison, even though they keep escaping, and I have to capture them again. I can have an army of 150 people. The largest individual army I have seen was 180 people. I fought 800 people, and won. AWESOME! But no real point.
But I work for the next two days, which is sad. I need something entertaining.
|Monday, July 27th, 2009|
My tempestuous friend. I have an on again off again relationship with you.
Anyway, I start a new job on the 29th where I will have long hours and a rotating schedule of fail. I don't think I'm ready for 12 hour shifts. It sounds awesome, but somehow not my thing.
Also. Fat. I'm getting there. I keep trying to work out, but I fail. When I work out more, I gain more weight. I need to find a way to cut my stomach out of my diet. Lulz.
With random days off, I'll need to find more things to do. I don't want to devolve into working and playing video games on my days off. I'll just become more slug like.
Warhammer online. Awesome sauce. A billion times better than wow. Now if it only came in a more rp conducive setting.
Sex. I need moar.
Drinking is good/bad. I used alcohol to relax this weekend. Nothing major, just ordered a couple rum and cokes each night. Friday night was fine. It was a little buzz, let the stress roll away. Saturday, oh saturday. My first drink downstairs at this bar I go to. The bartender says "Sorry if it's a little strong." She filled a double glass with 75% rum, added a little coke, then topped it off with rum. It was closer to clear than brown. So, that's getting me good and drunk, but it's disgusting. I don't like straight rum anymore. Maybe I am a bitch. =p So, I order from the guy upstairs. "Rum and coke." All is well, I stare at the dance floor while he's making it. My mistake. I look back at my drink. Proper color, I'm thinking all right. Sipping drink for the rest of the night.
Not for Rob.
They put 151 in my rum and coke. Foul. 151 is no longer a non-trusted associate. 151 is now going to get looked at the same way the people who threaten perverse harm upon my person. Like the pedo uncle around Little Johnny. I drink it. Because I can't waste it. I see a friend at the bar and want to wash the taste of 151 with coke out of my mouth. I think an easy shot. You can't mess up an easy shot. The bartender put 151 and jagermeister in a drink that's only supposed to have vodka as the alcohol. I think 1/3 of that shot went down my mouth.
And it's late and I should be sleeping.
|Thursday, May 14th, 2009|
|Past couple weeks
So, I have swine flu. Had. Getting over. I don't care if it came at the end of flu/cold season, and could have been a multitude of other things. I went to Dallas to see the King Tut exhibit, came back and got sick. Thus, swine flu.
With swine flu came some neat things. I'm able to do anything at work I want, and say swine flu to get away with it. I need a third friday off in a row because I'm sick? Swine flu. I need to leave thirty minutes early one day for a doctor's visit? Swine flu. I don't want to work on a project other people are working on? I'll sit at my supervisors desk with... Swine flu. I'm coughing and can't breathe? Leave my desk for thirty minutes to throw up my tongue? Swine flu.
But anyway, I've finally got my vehicle. I've decided to call it the Moc 1. I've never seriously named a vehicle, and I didn't seriously name this one. It's the Mobile Oppression Center. From it, I can roam around oppressing people. It's awesome. It's a little red kia rio5. I tried to get my dad to cosign for it, but instead he sent me money. Now, I like money, I like not making car payments, but I don't like the feeling that me dad paid me off to go away. Stupid Rob. Anyway... I'm off, because of Swine Flu.
|Tuesday, March 24th, 2009|
Car buying sucks ass. I've been shopping around, everyone wants to try to take as much advantage of me as possible. I honestly have no idea what or how I should be doing this. I've been forced to ask my Dad for help, which shouldn't be the end of the world, but it feels like it. I tell a dealership what I want, and the maximum I can afford and feel safe about, and they twist it around. I know I could make larger payments, but I don't reaaaaally need a mustang, do I?
So, FUCK YOU CAR DEALERSHIPS!
|Wednesday, March 4th, 2009|
I try to keep my mind working so I don't go even stupider. But it doesn't really work.
I've been looking for the formulaic requirements of romance novels. Because I want to write a romance novel about zombies. It just sounds like a good idea. Nothing bad could come from writing a romance novel with zombies. At least, nothing bad will come from my romance novel with zombies that does not have zombie sex.
|Wednesday, February 25th, 2009|
|The Coral, A new musical favorite
I have come across my new favorite band. It's been a time of change for several things. I heard a song on scrubs one time, and it stayed with me for a while. I even found my self singing it while doing the dishes when it played on a rerun. I finally tracked them down, and all of their music is great, even if sounds similar... And there are apparently several different groups titled the Coral, so it was hard going. It's a departure from the typical music I've been listening to for the past few years. I've been rocking out to mainly mainstream rap and hip hop groups, because(As MC Chris put it) white kids love hip hop.
The song I am most enamored with is Dreaming of You. It's not a very long song. It only has three "verses"(? I don't know my musical terms very well.) But the song just feels right.
And sometimes, songs that have no bearing or emotional impact on me just grab deep inside and scream at me to listen. This is one of those songs. A weird song that also did this, and I have no idea why, was Let's get Retarded. I don't get it.
|Mid day media
I'm playing hookie from work today. I had a floating holiday I had to use or else it would go to waste, and I didn't have anything I needed to do that required a day off. I had a couple projects that I needed to do, but I keep staring at them. They don't look like they will be easy or fast, and I just want to relax. I'm a lazy SoB.
|Tuesday, February 24th, 2009|
I was told at work today that I had no emotions, and that it was less fun to make fun of me because of this fact. I don’t believe I’ve grown emotionally distant, or anything like that. It’s bizarre to think that the people I interact with feel this way. I rant about my coworkers to this person and laugh at funny things(Funny to me, at least.). I try not to take offense at what is said about me, and even make jokes back concerning the same subjects. I wasn’t sure how to respond to this.
|Monday, February 23rd, 2009|
|Further explanation. I know I know
Someone objected, so I am going put this here. They said you would have to have some sort of super secret cult because normal people wouldn't do this.
… Two things. Your first little chatboard is a cult and a half. The core posters and members have irl meetings to discuss zombies, you get a rpg game going, the whole works. These are your core zombie summoners. Next, it's the internet. I mean, come on.
You spam a ritual like that on one of the cesspools of the internet, and you’d get people filming and trying it just for shits and giggles. We could set a couple criteria for the ritual that make it believable without actively discouraging people from doing it. Criteria for random people to try it!
No active corpse participation in ceremony.
Use alcohol as the summoning agent. Several magical traditions believe in the power of alcohol, and a lot of spirits apparently like their spirits.
Pre packed summoning herbs. Make it stuff you could buy at the grocery store.
Remove the black symbolism. Use white. Older cultures had white as their death color before this black phenomenon.
Have something like grave dirt or rocks be the central piece of the ritual.
All of these things are easy to get, and would make a great joke to tell your friends. We only have to look at a couple things from 4chan to realize that this could happen. Habbo Hotel. Pools closed Snakes on a plane joke. Scientology protest. B as a personal army. Make a couple fake recording, put it on youtube. Spawn some hits of you failing repeatedly. Get a couple fakers to respond with their own ceremonies. Post on 4chan and youtube “Hey, that’s the wrong ceremony. This is the right one.” Stick up a recording of the real ceremony. Spam everything. Zombies start showing up. People think it’s a viral joke and try it. They get drunk with power, and lose their tenuous grip on sanity when the first zombie stumbles to follow their commands. The only way people can protect themselves from zombies is their own zombies.
We could even make it like a voodoo joke. Batch up most of the ingredients, and send it to all the bookstores across the world beforehand. Like those fake voodoo dolls you see at B&N. “Your first zombie kit!” Zombie summoning kits, contains all you need except a little bit of alcohol and summoning dirt. Contains a ritual book, white shroud, white candles, chalk and chalkboard, preserved herb pouch and ceremonial shot glass. When it started working, they’d try to pull it. But the kits would already be out there. They wouldn’t all be destroyed. The core books would still float around. It would be crazy.
|Writing while at work. It's long?
Some days, I just get so agitated with everything that I need some sort of physical activity to release the pent up aggression and energy inside me. But those days usually happen when I’m at work, and need to sit there for the next 7 hours without being able to do anything. Today was one of those days. I’m sitting at my desk, trying to work, and everything around me just pushes me a little more into this state. My coworker behind me is too dumb to do his work, so he shouts across the cubicle walls until someone gets annoyed enough to help him. The woman next to him yells unhelpful advice that just makes the problem worse. This exceedingly gay guy a couple of cubicles over is always on the phone, and his mannerisms are just so gay. And he’s always telling people that he can’t help them because he’s in a call center, it’s like his yawp. And this woman in front of me, Jualquisha(The logical progression of her name. It was one thing, she changed it to another, but by the end of the year, she’s going to add two more syllables. I think it’s a bix nood thing.) plays her music loud enough to hear it a couple of cubicles over. And some of the music is catchy, but I don’t want to hear it.
So, annoyed, frustrated, agitated. Sitting at work. Stuck in a cubicle all day. So, to help calm my nerves, I drink an energy drink. Or two. Or three. I don’t think that it’s going to relax me, but it seems to be the logical conclusion to this series of events. It just makes sense. And if I find a couple more dollars in my desk, I might make it four or five. Maybe I can make my heart explode through the use of caffeine and sugar. It’ll be like in that old Primal Fury(Maybe?) game. The one with the giant dinosaurs and apes where they had the adrenaline meter and the ability to eat the humans cheering for them. I remember the matches ending in exploding hearts. Maybe with the perceived awesome of Street Fighter 4, they’ll make a new 2d giant dinosaur fighting game. And maybe a killer instinct while they are at it. Sweet.
A bit of sad news from this weekend. The gpu on my xbox kicked the bucket. So, I have three options. I can send it in for repairs and pay $100, because of course my extended warranty ran out a couple months ago. I can take it apart, try to clean the gpu, over heat the xbox to allow all the solder to reset itself, and then remove a washer so the heat sink can sit closer. Or I can go buy a cheap arcade version, and just swap my hard drive to the new xbox. I guess I have a fourth option, in that I could buy a pro so I could have a hd xbox. But that’s even more money I don’t have since I HAVE to get a new car. I’ve been trying to push it off, but it’s not going to work.
So, zombies, an interesting fascination that everyone has. Our culture is slowly expanding the core ideals of zombies. Before, nano zombies, disease zombies, even fast dead zombies were all “indy” versions of zombies. We no longer really fear the shambling horde of dead zombies. It’s sort of blasé. But think about it on a core level. Nano zombies, disease zombies, fast dead zombies always have some sort of easy off switch anymore. There’s always the standard of “go for the brain” or create a quarantine, and eventually they’ll starve to death because they are really still living. Even fast dead zombies only take a couple of shots to take down. The true horror of the shambling horde of dead zombies is that the minor damage that it takes to kill a different one isn’t enough. They don’t move quickly, but there are always thousands more. It doesn’t matter that you cut a head off, or shoot it with a shot gun, or remove it’s limbs, it keeps going. And you just spent that effort on one, and the others are still coming. Setting one on fire doesn’t necessarily stop it. Half charred, as long as it’s still part of a corpse, it’ll keep moving. No need to stop for rest or food or anything. All consuming destruction. Usually, in such stories, the only real limit is the power of the animating force. You don’t kill the horde, you kill the necromancer. You don’t destroy every corpse, you find some way to stop the spell.
The reason I bring this up is because of the internet. I learned how to take apart my xbox, and what a gpu was. I watched a guy do car repairs so I could emulate him and work on my car with no real mechanic knowledge. Forums have started doing things outside of their insular little world. There are conventions for almost anything. For today’s horror story, let’s combine the internet with magic shambling zombie hordes. Get a forum of a couple thousand 14-30 year old people around the world discussing zombies. Get them to get 3 or 4 friends to join in each city they live in. Disseminate necromantic knowledge to these people. Try to have a ritual that creates a magical object to sustain the horde instead of relying on the necromancer to stay alive. Have thousands of zombie outbreaks happen all across the globe. Have them hide in fear in the basements of their parents houses or their one and two bedroom lofts. It doesn’t matter if each member can only animate a few zombies each. Zombie news will spread like wildfire, more people will search around. Spam the major collections of nerds and weirdos with your necromantic ritual. Anonymous, SA goons, ABS forum goers, the penny arcade fan bitches, everyone. Even put it on youtube and wikipedia, and get a billion hits in three days. Say 1 in 10 of these forum people actually try it and some small percentage of youtubers. Not hard to believe with the news of zombies spreading around, and you suddenly have an epidemic of zombies. It doesn’t matter if people are killing off the necromancers. Doesn’t matter if all the armies of the world join up to kill the zombies. Survivalists, gun nuts, zombie movie watchers, accountants? None of them would matter. Even if all the necromancers died, if the magical items survive, the zombie horde would litter the world. Even if a bunch of people got together and went to hide somewhere, one of the people that went there would be a necromancer hiding among the herd. Could something like this be stopped? Probably not. You’d have to shut down the instant communication represented by the internet, phone and world news. If you can get a bunch of people together to protest scientology, you can get an even more organized central group to summon zombies. And you don’t care who else summons zombies. It doesn’t matter. You of course have contingency upon contingency of places to hide, things to do, and power to grab so you can survive the coming apocalypse in style without being the target of any group. That’s the way of anonymity
|Sunday, February 15th, 2009|
I went to a wedding this weekend. It was bizarre. And probably not for any of the reasons other people would think. It's an outdoors wedding, and it's raining off and on. And that's lulz worthy right there, thinking of this person's wedding getting ruined by rain. But that's not it. It's a wild animal reserve thing. Out in the country. And the only thing I could think of was how awesome and movie worthy it would be if the animals like the kangaroos started freaking out, and all the guests starting getting nervous, and the bride is walking towards the groom and suddenly ZOMBIES! OMFG ZOMBIES ARE EATING THE GUESTS! THERE IS A ZOMBIE EATING THE BRAIN OF THE MOTHER FUCKING JUSTICE OF THE MOTHER FUCKING PEACE! Blood and guts, forgotten umbrellas, the head of a kangaroo flying over the panicking mob. Oh no, the groom ran off and left the bride half way to the altar. The first faltering note of the quartet as the scream seeps into their brains. And the violist grabs the cello out of the octogenarian's hands and starts beating off a zombie. And that could go either way in this, I don't care. Horror movie or Porn movie. Both are amusing. And the rest of the night I can't do anything but imagine the humor in any situation at the wedding if zombies showed up. Best man is giving a toast, and a zombie falls through the window. First dance, everyone's looking at the new married couple, and zombies slowly start eating the outside of the crowd. Everyone's a little confused by the moans of pain(These zombies stopped the guests from screaming. They're nanobot infused zombies or something. Go with it.) and keeps looking around to see if a couple is too drunk and fucking under a table, and OH GOD IS THAT BLOOD! IS THAT GUY EATING THAT OTHER GOD! GET OUT OF HERE! OH SHIT, MORE ZOMBIES AT THE DOOR! Or, when we were decorating and toying with the car for the newly weds, and one of the guys wanders into the woods to pee, and suddenly OH GOD MY PENIS! SOME BITCH JUST BIT OFF MY PENIS! WHY THE FU--- OH SHIT, STOP EATING ME! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! And the rest of us standing there laughing like it's a joke, until he stumbles out with his arm missing, and his pants around his ankles and blood streaming down his face. And we stand there for a couple of seconds before the slowly dawning horror catches up with and zombies start shambling out of the woods all around us. And we all jump in the car having hysterics besides the one person who goes to help the guy. And we're all GET AWAY GET AWAY, and trying to get away. And someone's like WHERE ARE THE FUCKING KEYS?!!?!?!!@!!! And we all look at the keys on the hood of the car as the zombies start banging on the glass, and fade to black with rising screams of terror and then pain.
So, yeah, that was exciting.
|Friday, February 13th, 2009|
Two and a half years. That's how long I haven't looked at or thought about livejouranl. I'll try this time, really really hard, to stay on the internets for people to find me. But in the end, I doubt it will work. Lulz.
|Saturday, August 12th, 2006|
And once again, I think it might be a bit shitty to wonder if the things I do are a bit shitty.
|Tuesday, August 1st, 2006|
And once again, I seem to think that it might be a bit silly to wonder if the things I do are silly.
|Tuesday, July 18th, 2006|
|You Passed 8th Grade Science|
Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!
|Monday, July 17th, 2006|
Should I just give up? Is there any chance that anything will work out? Would I be better served by trying again, or is it pointless? Do I give it my last effort, or call it quits now, and never worry about it? Is it worth it to be second shot, second best, second fiddle? Or do I try to focus on something else? Try to make sure everything is perfect? What do I want? Or better yet, what do I want that is attainable? Do I set my sights on second or fight forward towards first? What would I be better served with? Nothing with a little bit of hope? What's worth what whimsical whimsy I have left? Where do I go now?
|Wednesday, July 12th, 2006|
Can you see the changes that time has wrought upon my body, the lines etched upon my face as the months pass? Would you be able to tell who I was, and who I am? Could you point to specific features I possess and say "That is indicative of you"? What guesses would you make at the events that would have caused such tremendous and minute changes?
|Tuesday, July 11th, 2006|
If you were bereft of home, family and sustenance, would you show up on my doorstep? Would you count me friend enough to rely on me, and imagine that I would provide for you? Allow you a place to stay, something to eat, a drink and a glass? Do you think that I could provide emotional and mental comfort, support you in your time of need?
|Sunday, July 9th, 2006|
What would happen if I called you? Just to say hi? Would it be awkward, uncomfortable silence? Would you hang up? Or would it be some life changing thing? Would it remove a mental block or engage a new one?
|Sunday, February 5th, 2006|
|Before shower time
Wow, so I really am sad and pathetic. I wonder what I'll do next. I managed to not be a total bitch, asshole, or anything derogatory and somehow I still manage to piss off people. And now, I'm feeling all depressed and self pitying because of it. Bleah, that's shitty. Oh well, I'll get over it. Least I didn't do anything majorly stupid. I got a call this morning ish time which sucked, cause I was about to go home, almost went to go do stupid stuff cause I was bored, but managed to come to my senses before anything happened. So, I go back inside to grab a couple more things, and someone puts on hackers. I wanted to watch it, so I decide to stay. I tease someone, and another person blows up at me. I feel all stupid and highschoolish for bitching about it here. Luckily, no one reads my journal. And I need to work out my agression, and anger, and stuff. And I hate everything.
Well, not really. I don't really hate much, in fact. But we won't go into that. Right now. Bitch bitch moan moan. I realize what I'm doing, but I don't want to stop. All I fucking do is bitch and moan, and make an ass out of myself, and get people to hate me, and do stupid stuff, and shit, and bleah. I just can't fucking win. Period, end of story, and all of that. I always end up fucking it up. Always. Always. Shit fuck damn. Heehee. Isn't that sad.
Oh well. I'm working on it, and that's all I can really do. (Excuses.) I can't not be honest with myself, but I always ignore everything I don't want to hear. Which I guess works. Goddamn, I feel like I need a myspace account, and to post pictures of myself wearing black and holding knifes to my neck. Heh. Goddamn I'm sad.